Ichiro’s Statue is revealed in Seattle. Unfortunately his bat breaks while pulling the covering off

[u/LingonLoonBerry]

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[u/IamChicharon]

This is the most Mariner thing to ever happen and is a perfect metaphor for not just this season, but perhaps our entire history.

[u/StevenMC19 → u/IamChicharon]

And Ichiro laughing it off is just wholesome.

[u/Devotoc → u/StevenMC19]

ichiro is and should be a role model for all

[u/high_and_outside → u/Devotoc]

He still would've batted .280 minimum if he'd only been able to use a bat broken like that for his career

[u/ThatAcanthaceaes → u/high_and_outside]

He’d probably still beat the throw to first on a grounder to short.

[u/HeckOnWheels95 → u/high_and_outside]

We've seen what Barry could do without a bat, now it's time for Ichiro

[u/Broncos83 → u/Devotoc]

He is a hero in Kansas City for perfectly describing our summer heat.

[u/Shovelman2001 → u/Devotoc]

When I was 7, a family friend of mine was interim manager of the Mariners, so he got me and my parents tickets when they came to Fenway. Obviously as a Red Sox fan, I came decked out in Red Sox stuff. He brought me out onto the field to walk around with him during their warmups. None of the players seemed to care or even notice that their manager was walking around with a little kid in opposing team gear, except Ichiro. Dude stopped what he was doing and just stared daggers at us for like 2 minutes. Absolutely bizarre encounter. So while you call him a role model, I had a mental image of Ichiro's mean mug tattooed into my prepubescent brain LMAO.

I always joke that it's on sight if we cross paths again now that I'm taller than him.

[u/8696David → u/Shovelman2001]

This is just another example of role model behavior

[u/TrapperJean → u/StevenMC19]

Was that Junior also leaning on someone from laughing?

[u/Will_Vintage → u/TrapperJean]

And immediately starting going he didn't do it.

[u/Paladine_PSoT → u/TrapperJean]

Looks like he's leaning on Edgar.

[u/Ths-Fkin-Guy → u/Paladine_PSoT]

Is that literally Ichiro hes leaning on?

[u/Paladine_PSoT → u/Ths-Fkin-Guy]

Edgar at 0:37 and Ichiro at 0:47

[u/amigos_amigos_amigos → u/TrapperJean]

Yep! Buddy of mine was there and said he saw Junior

[u/orangotai → u/StevenMC19]

besides the bat thing it actually is one of the best statues i've seen, it's apparently really hard for the artists to predict how the mold will harden so while it often looks good when they're done sculpting it the face will droop or shift in subtle ways due to the air while it's settling. from what i understand

[u/userwithusername → u/orangotai]

Sounds like more horseshit from the 'Big Statue' industry.

[u/ColonelSanders15 → u/userwithusername]

Big statue is ruining this country

[u/EliRekab → u/orangotai]

In Ichiro’s case, it’s really about getting that iconic stance, so with the bat breaking it’s probably not the most preventable thing in the world.

[u/RPO777 → u/StevenMC19]

At least his statue didn't look like Morpheus. Or have crazy eyes lol.

[u/No_Use_9652 → u/IamChicharon]

It seems to just be a sports statue thing. We’ve got people on their way to the moon but the science of a human statue still eludes us in 2026.

[u/GenerallySalty → u/No_Use_9652]

https://giphy.com/gifs/xUA7aTBBzucioSlFcY

[u/SnooChipmunks4208 → u/No_Use_9652]

Of course it wasnt right, it wasnt carved out of marble with anatomically correct dick n balls.

[u/Nice_Firm_Handsnake → u/SnooChipmunks4208]

They're saving the Statue of David (Freese) for St Louis

[u/Gryphon999 → u/Nice_Firm_Handsnake]

That reminds me, I need more dynamite.

[u/philocity → u/SnooChipmunks4208]

Have you seen biblically accurate cocknballs?

[u/SnooChipmunks4208 → u/philocity]

You spend one night with a Latino named Jesus and they NEVER let it go!

[u/drunk-tusker → u/SnooChipmunks4208]

… I have some bad news about those statues buddy.

[u/ThinkSoftware → u/IamChicharon]

Sodo Mojo Oh No

[u/letskeepitcleanfolks → u/ThinkSoftware]

This is gold. "Sodo Oh-no" is going to replace "root, root, root for the Mariners, if they don't win it's the same" as my go-to coping mechanism.

[u/Area51_Spurs → u/IamChicharon]

The top comment in both r/baseball posts is almost exactly the same and I have no problem believing you both genuinely came up with this comment independently within a minute of each other. Because it really is a perfect metaphor and the most Mariners thing to possibly happen.

[u/Repulsive_Many3874 → u/Area51_Spurs]

Most of us would’ve been shocked if it hadn’t happened

[u/88T3_2 → u/Area51_Spurs]

"The Seattle Mariners are not competitors, they're protagonists."

-Jon Bois

[u/RickMonsters → u/88T3_2]

Like Charlie Brown :/

[u/grubas → u/Area51_Spurs]

It FEELS exactly right.  Anybody who has watched the History of the Ms knows how this team doesn't need wins, it just needs to have fun 

[u/stv7 → u/grubas]

Actually this team needs to win 54% of its games

[u/Kaldricus → u/Area51_Spurs]

Every Mariners fan had the same thought. Just a collective "yeah, that pretty much sums up this franchise past and future."

[u/420DonCheadle420 → u/IamChicharon]

https://giphy.com/gifs/T24Ml0UZc7825wNx12

All it would’ve taken

[u/travbart → u/IamChicharon]

I say embrace the imperfection and just add it to the lore. Can't wait for realignment so I can root for the M's more.

[u/Gordo-- → u/travbart]

Once they fix the statue, some joker's gonna bandage wrap the bat at the break point.

[u/RecipeConsistent → u/IamChicharon]

The Los Angeles Clippers are astounded by this display Of Distinction and Grace…

[u/YouOk5627 → u/IamChicharon]

What’s going on with the Mariner’s this season?

[u/70U1E → u/YouOk5627]

Ehh they're 4-9, but they've also just had an absolutely crazy history (as chronicled in an amazing three-and-a-half hour documentary on YouTube by Jon Bois)

[u/SereneDreams03 → u/YouOk5627]

The team has the worst batting average in the league by a good margin. With there 2,3,4 hitters having a wRC+ of 52, 27, and -17.

[u/Keith_Jackson_Fumble]

Broken-bat base hit. Perfect.

[u/No-Cat-3951 → u/Keith_Jackson_Fumble]

Broken bat, infield single, to be precise.

That’s the Ichiro special. I see nothing wrong with this statue.

[u/Keith_Jackson_Fumble → u/No-Cat-3951]

He was electric and fun. And baseball is supposed to be fun. I am tried of everyone waiting around for the three-run homer.

[u/coryfromoregon → u/Keith_Jackson_Fumble]

I miss small ball. Bunting, Moving runners, hitting for contact, hit and run, opposite base hits. 

Strikeouts or homerun baseball is ruining baseball.

[u/EatMyWetBread → u/coryfromoregon]

hopefully it will cycle back eventually. one team will win it all again with contact baseball and small ball and the whole league will go "oh this is the best way to win now." maybe Im delusional

[u/BedBubbly317 → u/EatMyWetBread]

Your own Royals literally did that in 2015 and it changed absolutely nothing lol

[u/Vividlarvae → u/BedBubbly317]

You also have to couple that kind of baseball with insane run prevention (which the royals did with both elite defense and one of the best bullpens of all time) because small ball just doesnt score as many runs as three true outcome baseball

[u/dirtylilscot → u/coryfromoregon]

MLB viewership is finally up after decades of decline and you think baseball is being ruined?

But yeah I’m sure opposite field base hits will keep the game fresh and exciting.

[u/fantastique__]

Ichiro laughing his ass off omg

[u/mcereal → u/fantastique__]

Oh god, I feel like an idiot that I had watch it twice to realize the dude with the steel grey hair was Ichiro. I feel old.

[u/kots144 → u/mcereal]

Bro same. I loved ichiro as a kid, I can’t believe he’s 52 already.

[u/_hell_is_empty_ → u/kots144]

Wild he was playing only 7 years ago.

[u/kots144 → u/_hell_is_empty_]

Truly. Dude hit .255 at age 43 and played in 136 games. The year before at age 42 he hit .291 and had 1.6 WAR in 143 games played.

Insane work, and a true iron man.

If he got drafted straight to the US he could have so many longevity records.

[u/nokiabrickphone1998 → u/kots144]

His NPB numbers are insane too. Batting avg obviously isn’t everything, but he never hit below .340 — he had a .385 as a twenty year old rookie, and a .387 in his last year before he came over. Never struck out above a 10% clip. There’s a reason everyone just called him Ichiro.

I will believe forever that if he had played his entire career in MLB, he’d have retired with more hits than Pete Rose.

[u/kots144 → u/nokiabrickphone1998]

That’s what I’m saying. He could have been the lebron of baseball as far as longevity goes. Not many guys were insane at 20 AND at 40 AND almost never missed games.

[u/StevenMC19 → u/mcereal]

Meanwhile, Griffey and his perfect non-gray, non-receding hair...

Ichiro making me feel old, and Griffey making me envious as all hell in the same video.

[u/deadlift-shrimp → u/mcereal]

I was gonna say “so does he”, but we all know that ain’t true. 

[u/FireFlyz351 → u/deadlift-shrimp]

Dude is 100% more fit at 52 than most of the sub.

[u/immagonnafinnahella → u/fantastique__]

I love it

[u/TrapperJean → u/fantastique__]

They should attach chicken wire and make it look like he just got a broken bat single

[u/NoSoyTuPotato → u/fantastique__]

I feel like that’s also Griffey Jr laughing in the blue suit,

[u/rvasko3 → u/fantastique__]

“You fucking idiots couldn’t even get a statue right!”

[u/bestower117]

Then griffey just starts laughin he knows this is on par for the Mariners

[u/RonnieJamesDiode → u/bestower117]

I would not put it above Griffey to saw halfway through the bat beforehand

[u/Parks1993 → u/RonnieJamesDiode]

He told Ichiro he didn't do it lmao

[u/88T3_2 → u/RonnieJamesDiode]

This is the same guy who brought a live cow into the clubhouse because he owed Lou Pinella a bunch of steak dinners, pranked a rookie A-Rod by convincing him that the rest of their team was selling their sperm to the highest bidder, and had the Safeco Field sound crew change Adrian Beltre's walkup song to the Nutcracker Suite's opening march his first game back from rupturing his testicle, I won't be surprised if later today or tomorrow Griffey admitted he had the bat be defective on purpose as a practical joke.

[u/makesterriblejokes → u/88T3_2]

"The Kid" really was the perfect nickname for him

[u/JRUprising → u/88T3_2]

And had to tell A-Rod about the prank when he realized A-Rod was fully in

[u/elbenji → u/88T3_2]

Okay the nutcracker made me laugh hysterically

[u/wooly_bully → u/RonnieJamesDiode]

He's just scarred from when it happened to him

https://www.espn.com/mlb/story/_/id/21058318/bat-stolen-ken-griffey-jr-statue-safeco-field

[u/Eagle4317 → u/wooly_bully]

This is a sign. Mariner statues without bats should be the norm.

[u/TAKATTAKER → u/bestower117]

I love how Ichiro and Griffey are the first two to notice the broken bat lmao.

[u/GluedGlue]

Normally this would curse a franchise, but the Mariners are already cursed.

[u/immagonnafinnahella → u/GluedGlue]

Maybe they cancel out

[u/Punks_Staphlnfection → u/immagonnafinnahella]

winning streak starts tonight

[u/SpiralRavine → u/Punks_Staphlnfection]

Inshallah

[u/Gorillagodzilla → u/Punks_Staphlnfection]

https://giphy.com/gifs/4cuyucPeVWbNS

[u/Rularuu → u/GluedGlue]

Another curse for the curse pile

[u/Will_Vintage → u/Rularuu]

What is Sog May never dry.

[u/Shrektastic28 → u/Will_Vintage]

Not Theon, MARINER

[u/Omnipolis → u/GluedGlue]

Double curse is a double negative. No curse!

[u/Ill-Weather-6383 → u/Omnipolis]

Somewhere the Etsy Witch is sighing in relief 

[u/Zboomman22]

Celebrating 50 years of Mariners baseball in the most Mariner way lmao

[u/KennySmithsKnees → u/Zboomman22]

The confetti is the icing on the cake. Cracked me up

[u/dseals → u/KennySmithsKnees]

Like it’s straight out of a fucking Key and Peele skit

[u/file_sill → u/Zboomman22]

Sometimes you just gotta laugh. 

[u/DecoyOne → u/Zboomman22]

This is where the Fun Differential kicks in, right?

[u/OnlyForBaseball]

Happens to a lot of men his age. Nothing to be ashamed of

[u/yumyumapollo → u/OnlyForBaseball]

If the statue stays up for longer than four hours, call your doctor.

[u/DerrickWhiteMVP → u/yumyumapollo]

Or call more women

[u/Paladine_PSoT → u/yumyumapollo]

He'll be impressed

[u/someone2795 → u/OnlyForBaseball]

https://giphy.com/gifs/xiJXFeua9tMqc

[u/mental_reincarnation → u/OnlyForBaseball]

Get Frank Thomas and Doug Flutie on the line

[u/somecallmemrjones → u/mental_reincarnation]

And she loves it, too 😉

[u/LeroyMyBoi → u/OnlyForBaseball]

https://giphy.com/gifs/bC9czlgCMtw4cj8RgH

[u/rumdrums → u/OnlyForBaseball]

Fortunately Racist Ranger Statue doesn't have this problem

[u/elementofpee]

Just. Be. Normal

mariner

[u/cmgriffith_]

How are you going to immortalize someone with a statue, then use such bad materials it breaks at the unveiling.

[u/Orion1014 → u/cmgriffith_]

They bought the copper from Ea-nasir.

[u/coshmeo → u/Orion1014]

Ea-Nasir up to his usual antics

[u/wongo → u/Orion1014]

Ea-nasir reference on /r/baseball, he's made the big leagues

[u/just-an-astronomer → u/Orion1014]

r/ReallyShittyCopper moment

[u/twec21 → u/Orion1014]

What a claim to fame

[u/stairway2evan → u/Orion1014]

Gonna get chiseling on that Yelp review….

[u/Mite-o-Dan → u/cmgriffith_]

Imagine how crappy a statue has to be...to be broken by a thin sheet draped over it.

God thats embarrassing.

[u/Frosty_Dimension5646 → u/Mite-o-Dan]

You just know Stanton went to the guy who does it for cheaper

[u/OmgTom → u/Mite-o-Dan]

How much you want to bet someone transporting it dropped it and then tried to cover it up

[u/AnneBeretRamsey → u/cmgriffith_]

Probably better to reveal its flaw now than for some drunk dude to decide it would be funny if he hung off of it at 3 in the morning

[u/Big-Load-8864 → u/AnneBeretRamsey]

I'm pretty sure being able to blame a dumbass drunk for breaking the statue is MUCH superior to accidentally breaking it with a thin piece of fabric during its unveiling ceremony.............

[u/Rdubya44 → u/Big-Load-8864]

For the statue makers sure, but this is the best outcome all around. No one got hurt, it can fixed and everyone had a good laugh.

[u/eggson → u/AnneBeretRamsey]

I've gone through a public art process in a large city and the safety and engineering review process was grueling. This should have been scrutinized before it even left the foundry.

[u/1-800-ASS-DICK → u/cmgriffith_]

did they commission Fanatics to do the statue?!

[u/sleepy777 → u/cmgriffith_]

Not just someone. No disrespect to Griff but Ichiro is the greatest Mariner of all time

[u/HeroLeopard → u/sleepy777]

https://giphy.com/gifs/xTk9Zxw5LoEOuCLCQE

[u/DoctorRobert420 → u/cmgriffith_]

It's almost certainly carved foam with a coating on it, they did the same for "The Catch" statue at Levi's Stadium and it caused a bunch of problems

[u/WhileSea2827]

Why is the bat made of something that could get broken by a sheet?

[u/Kyleon17 → u/WhileSea2827]

Good thing there’s no wind or rain around these parts lol

[u/AnneBeretRamsey → u/WhileSea2827]

Statue guy will gladly install a new bat for $20,000 each time it breaks

[u/Top_Drawer → u/WhileSea2827]

Might be that it's hollow and has really thin sheathing. That thing went limp with just the slightest downward tug.

[u/htownlifer → u/WhileSea2827]

He got jammed by a fastball!

[u/dead_gerbil → u/WhileSea2827]

That's actually just a fish from Pike Place Market

[u/tyler-86 → u/[deleted]]

Metal bats aren't allowed at the MLB level, is probably what an AI would say.

[u/GluedGlue → u/[deleted]]

Bronze statues are usually hollow according to a quick Google skim. So I guess there wasn't much strength where the bat met the hand and it sheared off.

[u/Less_Likely → u/[deleted]]

Not solid, hollow-cast. You can see the internal scaffold. It makes sense but they went too thin on the bat handle.

[u/mynameisevan → u/[deleted]]

This a very tough design for a bronze statue. The bat is long, thin, extending out, and is tapered close to the base. Definitely a weak point. Bronze statues are very difficult to make. It’s usually the sculptor who makes the design that gets the credit, but a big bronze statue is actually a collaboration between a number of highly skilled artisans. And no offense to anyone out there making bronze statues, but we’re not exactly living in a golden age of bronze statues right now.

[u/EzraLevinson]

mariner

[u/Ill-Weather-6383 → u/EzraLevinson]

Mariner

[u/Gbrusse → u/Ill-Weather-6383]

mariner

[u/double__duck → u/Gbrusse]

reniram

[u/FemaleSmark → u/Gbrusse]

mariner

[u/Toss_Me_Elf]

....add it to the next chapter of the jon bois doc...

[u/PatchesTheGreat1 → u/Toss_Me_Elf]

I was just gonna say this is literally textbook Jon Bois material for the next update

[u/Eagle4317 → u/Toss_Me_Elf]

Hopefully the next chapter in 2029 concludes with a World Series title

[u/neverAcquiesce → u/Eagle4317]

I would love that for all involved

[u/88T3_2 → u/Toss_Me_Elf]

Between this and the WBC drama between Cal and Randy the 2026 section is going to be packed with material.

[u/sagwithcapmoon]

As long as the man of the hour can laugh at this, it's all good. Congrats Ichiro!

[u/Will_Vintage → u/sagwithcapmoon]

Junior immediately going "It wasn't me" is great too lol

[u/RSollers]

Does Fanatics do statues now?

[u/pitline810]

lmao

[u/shifty1032231]

https://giphy.com/gifs/26gR2DCgCb6hOQdLa

Could have been worse lol

[u/DaygoTom]

That, my friends, is what our ancestors would have called an omen, and we would have had no choice but to sacrifice one goat for every one of Ichiros career base hits.

[u/dodgers22fan → u/DaygoTom]

Sorry Tom Brady, we'll never forget your sacrifice.

[u/neverAcquiesce → u/DaygoTom]

I would advise against that

[u/EmuMan10 → u/DaygoTom]

Evidence would suggest pick a different animal. Goats aren’t to be fucked with

[u/D4rthLink → u/EmuMan10]

What's the worst that could happen? We're already never winning the WS

[u/rockysauce115]

Every part of me hopes Jon Bois and Alex Rubenstien make a part 2

[u/Terrahawk76 → u/rockysauce115]

I read they won't until we at least win a pennant. So, uh, don't hold your breath.

[u/Redbubble89]

We broke our last World Series trophy. A fan threw a beer can at it. It happens.

[u/philocity → u/Redbubble89]

Gronk dented a Lombardi trophy by hitting a baseball with it.

[u/shingofan → u/Redbubble89]

And don't get me started on what the Stanley Cup goes through

[u/rosemp16 → u/shingofan]

Shoutout to the time the Avs didn't even manage to make it off the ice before damaging it though.

[u/dodgers22fan]

someone slap curb your enthusiasm music on this stat

[u/Tracer-Bullet13]

If this isn't divine proof that this org is cursed than idk what is

[u/IChurnToBurn]

God I love this team so much.

[u/PenguinSolo → u/IChurnToBurn]

Only the Mariner's

Glad they can laugh about it

[u/nokiabrickphone1998]

And if you don’t like that, you don’t like Mariners baseball

[u/chuck212]

Ryan Vogelsong strikes again

[u/zebrainatux]

What the video doesn’t show is Danhausen having just cursed them off screen

[u/Will_Vintage → u/zebrainatux]

Who didn't buy the shirthausen?

[u/ontheru171]

Ken Griffey Jr is all of us with that instant reaction lol. He & Ichiro really had the best look at the broken bat aswell - at least it didn't fully break off

[u/movieman2g]

Even with that flabby broke bat I bet he would still hit .290

[u/abris33]

Should have built a ferry boat statue complete with dip holders

[u/smilinganimalface]

Hanshin Tigers Colonel Sanders statue. We must throw it in the Puget Sound then retrieve it to break the curse.

[u/10thGenS1]

Did the Mariners order this statue from Temu?

[u/tyler-86]

Must be a statue of Ichiro from before MLB implemented the stricter maple bat regulations in 2009.

[u/paul_gnourt]

Aside from the break, that pose is so sick and so Ichiro.

[u/DJamB]

All you can do is just laugh at this point cause lmao

[u/chnairb]

He could probably still get a hit with that broken bat.

[u/AnnihilatedTyro]

Prime Ichiro would still hit .275 just bunting with the knob

[u/yankee4life]

Was Mariano Rivera pulling off the cover?

[u/big_samosa]

how can you not be romantic about baseball?

[u/neverAcquiesce]

Jon Bois salivating

[u/bordomsdeadly]

The bat caught a case of The Sog

[u/breakfast-king]

Corked. I knew it.

[u/imjusthereforthenips]

Even his statue gets singles

[u/Disused_Yeti]

looks like he's trying to dowse for water

[u/Mirbat8]

The bat wobbling as they take the robe off is actually hilarious. It’s like a scene out from the office.

[u/Poodlestrike]

The confetti as the broken bat wobbles around is like something out of Community. Very Dean coded.

[u/ExpirjTec]

this is the most mariner mariner to ever mariner in the history of mariner

[u/tothesource]

lmao the flopping of the bat timed perfectly with the confetti cannon going off is perfect comedic timing

[u/jboarei]

Sums up the mariners current offense perfectly.

[u/mateorayo]

Oh my god. That old man is Ichiro. Nooooooooooooooo

[u/Psychobob35]

He still legged out a single.

[u/BruteSentiment]

That suuuuuuuuuuucks.

But it’s also reminiscent of half the cheap giveaway bobble heads I’ve gotten where the bat is an extra piece, and fragile as balsa wood!

[u/IdolatrousHans]

Between this and the WBC spat, the Mariners have the makings of another cursed entry into their long history.
Time to reup that Etsy witch subscription.

[u/HartfordWhaler]

Looks like one of my old Starting Lineup figurines with a bat like that.

[u/rgc7421]

Lemme guess?!...contract won by the lowest bidder?

[u/mrsbiscuits-]

This is the most mariners thing ever 😂

[u/Big__Country__40]

"Gonna count down from 51..."

Dead fucking silence

Holy bomb

[u/Smiles-Edgeworth]

I saw the still image earlier, but holy fuck the sad little bounce of the bat accompanied by the confetti going off makes this one of the funniest videos I’ve ever seen. I’m wheezing in the office rn

[u/LemonSmashy]

If the mariners PR doesn't lean into this and make it the next mini statue giveaway ... Then man what a missed opportunity 

[u/MistahPresidente]

They used up all their money on Cal Raleigh and they needed a discount.

[u/underground_cloud]

Ichiro never broke his bat in his career. Until now.

[u/paulsoleo]

“They broke the fuckin’ bat” at the very end, lol