r/interesting • u/Great_Trident • 9h ago
Intriguing Bike seat with a split design. Would you try it?
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u/buzz_uk 9h ago
Testicle trapper 9000
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u/Notyourfriendbuddyy 9h ago
Bro it needs a warning label!!! That looks like an instant castration if you are over the age of 35!
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u/Power_in_You 9h ago
Shit hanga that low at those ages?
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u/Boomalabim 8h ago
And it just keeps on getting lower until it starts splashing water when you sit down on the toilet
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u/Intrepid-Diamond-315 8h ago
Yeah been there… just throw them over your shoulders before sitting down 👌 and you’re good
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u/-Lur-King- 6h ago
🎶 Can you throw them over your shoulder like a porcelain strattlin' soldier? Do your balls.. hang.. lowwww
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u/Specialnterrogatory 5h ago
Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie em in not can you tie em in bow?!
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u/not_a_SeaOtter 5h ago
Are ya ready kids? Aye aye captain!
Ooooooooooohhhhhhh
Do your balls hang low Can you swing them to and fro Can you tie them in a knot Can you tie them in a bow
Can you swing them over your shoulder Like the red janmejal told ya Do your balls hang low
Do they make a lusty clama When you hit them with a hammer Do your balls hang low
Do they make a hollow sound When you drag them on the ground Do your balls hang low
Do your balls hang low Can you swing them to and fro Can you tie them in a knot Can you tie them in a bow
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u/Pez- 2h ago
I always remember, "Can you throw them over your shoulder, like a regimental soldier." & "Can you wave them at your neighbour, with the minimum of labour."
And weirdly I seem to recall "Do your balls hang high, do they wave up in the sky." Which makes zero sense.→ More replies (2)→ More replies (8)3
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u/OnePinginRamius 7h ago
Friend of mine's grandpa used to keep an old coffee can that he would put in the toilet when he took a shit because his balls kept taking a dip. Grossest funniest story she's ever told me.
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u/Residenthuman101 6h ago
You know old guys used to use coffee cans for all sorts of stuff, garage storage, to catch drips under the sink, to store paint and paint stripper and stuff… but this… this isn’t a use I’ve ever heard someone brag about lol
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u/iTz_RuNLaX 8h ago edited 8h ago
"Watch your hooves on my testicles" - Ricky Gervais in a bit about getting raped by the devil in hell
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u/tcpukl 8h ago
Why do you have such deep water in America in toilets?
In Europe we have privacy and much less water in toilets.
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u/sandman-84 8h ago
Privacy? I saw a mirror at the urinal in Germany today, like a full mirror just above it, may as well have projected my junk on the wall 😂
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u/ABrotherGrimm 7h ago
I saw that exact thing in a bar bathroom in Germany with a trough. Full mirror wall. Why the hell is this a thing?
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u/6HAM9 8h ago
Many long for a kiss from Neptune!
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u/Unlucky_Priority_186 7h ago
What do they call it when it happens in aporta potty?
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u/HogwartsRex 7h ago
if the poop isn't covered by the water then the whole bathroom smells awful instantly. More water= less smell.
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u/acrazyguy 8h ago
So shit doesn’t stick to the bowl. There’s a minimum amount of water needed for it to not be disgusting
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u/adapteradapther 7h ago
Yes, but don't you also have a poo shelf in your toilets, or a nut shelf.
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u/recess_chemist 8h ago
I recently kicked myself in the balls while lifting my leg to go into pants.
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u/Dick_of_Doom 5h ago
I haven't the same anatomy but I winced and laughed at your expense. Sorry, and thank you.
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u/Odd_Shake2829 8h ago
Brother I had old man balls at age 16. When they dropped they fucking dropped.
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u/academiac 8h ago
You take notice when you take a bath and you see them bob and float to the surface
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u/Emotional_Advisor578 8h ago
when I crawl out a bed my balls hit the floor before my feet
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u/Occidentally20 7h ago
I was 34 when I first sat down and literally sat on my own balls.
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u/ice-lollies 6h ago
I wondered if this was a thing. And also when men cross their legs.
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u/bigboybeeperbelly 6h ago
Can confirm. The more junk (and the more dangly) the more it gets into uncomfortable positions, or awkwardly stuck down one pant leg
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u/Occidentally20 6h ago
The crossing the legs is fine, surprisingly comfortable if you're careful with it.
But sitting on a bollock is demonstrably not fine at all. They must have been particularly low-hanging that day because its only happened a few times since.
I'm imaging this situation is only going to continue to worsen. I'll keep you posted if there's any further developments.
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u/ACcbe1986 7h ago
I was around 29 when I sat on my balls for the first time.
They're not even that big.
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u/Away-Candidate1211 8h ago edited 8h ago
Mine would’ve hung that low in my teens. Some men’s testicles are tight against their body others hang down a double digit percentage of the way to their knees.
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u/ginamon 8h ago
Do they wobble to and fro?
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u/dirtys_ot_special 7h ago
I will not tie them in a knot.
I will not tie them in a bow.
I do not like testicular torsion, Sam-I-Am.
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u/Hefty-Report-4930 8h ago
If you wear boxers and not boxer briefs, yes. I swapped from boxers to boxer briefs at 30 yr old cuz they had no chill
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u/Noker_The_Dean_alt 8h ago
Good thing the oldest recorded person to live was only 122
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u/Dez-A-Raygun 8h ago
I’m 35 and I feel like some personal information of mine just got exposed.
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u/Hernan-sencho 7h ago
I dont think theres many people 1.0333148e+40 years old r/unexpectedfactorial
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u/Ghoulattackz 8h ago
Speak for yourself. My nuts dont touch the water of a toilet yet, lol
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u/the_Rainiac 8h ago
Yeah you'll definitely want to wear some clothes with this one
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u/LurkFapSleep 8h ago
Right? Who are all these fools in here that are riding with their balls hanging out? Unless r/interesting has a bunch of World Naked Bike Ride participants.
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u/Cabbagetastrophe 7h ago
My town has a yearly naked bike ride, and I know of at least a couple of others that do too
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u/janglyparts 6h ago
Rad, now you know what seat to not use if you're bicycling, naked, and male.
...or female, honestly. There's some lippy broads out there.
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u/Sensitive_Bat_9211 8h ago
Its spaced too wide throughout to nip them
Its probably by design after some unfortunate accidents during testing
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u/Dafuknboognish 8h ago
It is not spaced wide enough. Balls come in many sizes. At 55 sitting down means I have to check my landing gear first.
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u/Spicypanda78 8h ago
Lip stretcher 5000. The kardashian lip plumber wont know what is coming
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u/DragonfruitGrand5683 8h ago
I think marketing might like Snatch Stretcher 5000
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u/pumpkin-head7617 9h ago
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u/ausecko 9h ago
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u/GuidingMyApes 9h ago
Leaves just enough room for something to pop out between the split.
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u/paskapersepaviaani 9h ago
Nutcracker
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u/GuidingMyApes 9h ago
Oof, I wanted something to poke up, not slip down, now I'm horrified.
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u/mightyfine87 9h ago
Just a stone pinging up through the gap is enough
Is that why they wear such tight pants? To stop the destruction of mass weapons?
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u/SeaworthinessNeat516 8h ago
Yeah. I prefer a traditional saddle to keep my plug in place.
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u/zakk5768 8h ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/ukGm72ZLZvYfS
“He took his seat off his own bike because the way that it felt” - Tom Delonge, 1999
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u/Doortofreeside 9h ago
I biked 100 miles one day with a backpack on and without padded bike shorts and the pain in my crotch was so bad. I was standing the last 20 miles as much as I could.
So yeah, I'd try this.
I'd also wear padded bike shorts as well.
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u/tblax44 8h ago
I cycled competitively and used to be a bike fitter, the biggest myth related to bikes is the more padding is more better. If you're cycling for any considerable length of time, you need your saddle to support your sit bones, which is why competitive cyclists have thin saddles with little/no padding and have the small, dense padding in their shorts. Once you add in too much cushion, you start compressing the tissues around your bones which leads to numbness, soreness, ect. as you start restricting bloodflow.
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u/ahobbes 8h ago
What biking shorts do you like the most?
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u/Cisco24 7h ago
Bibs over bike shorts every time. Feels/looks funny but once you go to bibs, you’ll never go back. Lots of brands make solid bibs. My favorite pair is made by Rapha, but they’re definitely on the pricier side. However if you take good care of them, particularly while washing, they’ll last for years and years.
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u/IamLeven 7h ago
Bibs under shorts not over.
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u/dirtys_ot_special 7h ago
bibs only.
bib straps under jersey, not over.
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u/Geodude532 5h ago
Just the bibs, nothing else. If you don't look ridiculous are you really biking?
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u/Cisco24 7h ago
I’m saying go with bibs over bike shorts. Don’t even bother with bike shorts.
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u/aw000000000000 7h ago
I took me a year to be brave enough to wear bibs. Felt so stupid in them. Then I realized, I'm not on my bike to meet women, the bike shorts aren't helping either. Just go with the best option.
Ill never go back to bike shorts.
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u/Antheral 5h ago
I judge the self conscious cyclist trying to look cool so much more than someone wearing proper kit, lol.
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u/sir_slothsalot 5h ago
Oh yeah it takes time to be comfortable in them because everything is so tight and hugging. And if you're not in a big biking area people will stare. But you really shouldn't care when exercising and improving your health. The ones who stare don't workout.
It's always better to be comfortable rather than stylish.
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u/Warm_Flamingo_2438 5h ago
I'm concerned that I'll look too sexy and cause traffic accidents all over town.
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u/boatnofloat 7h ago
I used to be a seat fitter for specialized. I’ve always recommended unpadded chamois shorts with a friction reducing agent (butt butter).
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u/userhwon 7h ago
But for beginners the padding is essential. Their sit bones are covered in fat and their nerves still work. Until they're habituated and the bones aren't compressing thick flesh at a point, they can start to transition to thinner padding. They have to "find their sit bones".
The most important factor in the shorts/saddle interface is to avoid friction heating or abrasion on skin.
If the OP saddle really spreads pressure and doesn't slide around it'd be a good thing for occasional riders. It looks mechanically iffy for serious riding though. And that arc may not be the right size for everyone.
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u/AgreeableTea7649 6h ago
I returned to cycling after a 20 year break, and thin flexible leather saddles were still way more comfortable than padded ones, and I tried both.
You're right about the rest though. Less friction is always better.
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u/p0diabl0 5h ago
The most important factor in the shorts/saddle interface is to avoid friction heating or abrasion on skin.
I don't bike much anymore but my shorts still get a ton of use for this reason - on my tractor. Lots of leg work to hit forward, reverse, and brake, lots twisting and turning in the seat to look behind you, etc. At 90 degrees its a hell of a lot better than cotton or denim on skin.
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u/LibertTii 8h ago
Wasn't there some medical emergency that hit the news years ago about that blood circulation thing? I feel like I've heard of that before.
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u/new_math 7h ago
There are many studies with very mixed results related to Erectile Dysfunction due to desensitizing and compressing blood vessels around the perineum area.
It's extremely hard to get definitive results because more cycling increases overall cardio and blood vessel health (great for erections) so that might "cancel" out the negative effects of pushing and bumping your perineum area for hours.
It also seems to be very individualized, in the sense that some people see dramatic increases in their sexual health from cycling, while others completely lose their ability to have an erection until they take a break.
If you want to go down the research rabbit hole, I would recommend sticking to urology studies and avoid the cycling forums, or at least know there's a lot of coping and misinformation in the cycling community.
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u/User1-1A 7h ago
You can feel yourself go numb if that's an issue. Here's the thing, too many people ignore their body's signs, try to push through pain, or accept discomfort as normal. Doing any of that will lead to issues in one part of your body or another.
I was never pro or high-end but I did participate in marathon style cycling (thing 24hr rides, 200+ mile type stuff). You have to weed out all the issues because you don't want a small pain to become a big pain 100+ miles from home. Additionally, you don't want to develop long term problems that affect your health. So if your dick and balls start to go numb then get that shit figured out.
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u/BJJJourney 5h ago
You forgot the worst part, chafing. The more padding the more movement which causes chafing.
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u/PhotographUnable8176 8h ago
sounds like padded shorts and a luggage rack is all you need lol
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u/Doortofreeside 8h ago
I like to think that it's the most anyone's biked in a day while wearing a backpack with a full sized nebulizer in it.
In the spirit of completely random and meaningless statistics you might see quoted on ESPN
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u/Jellyfishing_-_ 9h ago
After riding for a year
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u/Particular-Rough9110 9h ago
The ball twister
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u/IndependenceStock417 8h ago
The ole dick twist
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u/TheTimmyBoy 8h ago
GRAB HIS DICK AND TWIST IT!
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u/Cthulhu_Dreams_ 7h ago
TWIST HIS DICK!
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u/roguesignal42069 6h ago
omg dude this is an MMA fight dude
TWIST HIS DEEEEEIIIIIIIICK
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u/BackseatBeardo 9h ago
The Ass Pounder 4000 prototype
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u/MalavethMorningrise 9h ago
... this one might just be for ladies only.
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u/HealthyTies 6h ago
Based. Regular bike seats can be so uncomfortable for women.
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u/avatinfernus 5h ago
Right? Either you're on your pelvic bones, or you're literally sitting on your labia.
I'm down for this butt tussling seat
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u/BigDictionEnergy 1h ago
You should consider a career in marketing. Butt tussling seat is pure poetry.
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u/AmettOmega 2h ago
They really didn't start making saddles for women's anatomy until recently. Like, actually tried to engineer them well. Like most things in life, saddles were made for men and then kind of adjusted for women (ie: just made wider).
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u/HealthyTies 2h ago
Yep. It's like car security systems assuring you everything is 100% tested prepared and completely safe for the average adult male :DDDD
In other news: Female drivers are up to 73% more likely to be seriously injured and have a 17% higher risk of death in comparable crashes.
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u/yeowoh 4h ago
They make seats specifically for women so it doesn’t burn your labias off or cut off blood to your vag.
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u/xCaldazar 3h ago
The women I have talked to say they still aren't great. Particularly if they aren't a slim build and average height
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u/VictorTheCutie 4h ago
Right, as a woman who just bought a used older bike, the seat hurts my butt so much! My husband seemed confused when I mentioned it🫠
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u/Brobeast 9h ago
Yes the scientists that brought you words like "seat bones" have invented a new device that totally wont fuck the rest of your standing bones up!
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9h ago edited 4h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Automatic_Actuator_0 8h ago
We really need to make bikes more accessible and safe for people to use as alternatives to cars for transit.
We definitely shouldn’t throw shade on people looking for comfort because it isn’t optimal for competitive cycling.
Or the other bane of casual transit cycling’s existence, “vehicular cycling”. John Forester did more to hurt bicycle transit than any man before or since I think.
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u/Endurance_Cyclist 7h ago
As someone who cyclists a lot, I'm all for making cycling more accessible to a wider audience.
But this saddle looks like it has the potential to cause bodily harm.
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u/Automatic_Actuator_0 7h ago
Yeah, that’s the main point and valid. But framing it from the competition POV upfront sends the wrong message imho.
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u/traeyoungbias 7h ago edited 7h ago
It's not optimal for casual cycling either. You can get a fine gel saddle that is comfortable out of the box and doesn't add extra points of failure to your bike or change the mechanics of riding.
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u/Automatic_Actuator_0 7h ago
I agree, but my issue was more with the framing from a competition-centric POV
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u/traeyoungbias 7h ago
It’s fairly clear that their framing was more to set up their experience with cycling as they mention they’ve never seen it in a more casual use case. This seat does not make biking more accessible. Giving someone a heavier, more complicated gimmick that changes biking mechanics makes the casual experience worse.
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u/DuckShapedGoose 8h ago
Yeah but notice how this wasn't marketed towards competitive cyclists as it is clearly not meant for them? Performance is definitely not this things goal either. It is about comfort for casual cyclists who maybe go for the occasional longer weekend cycling tour without setting any personal records. Could still be gimmicky and not actually fulfill its promises, of course. But it at least looks like a novel approach.
The really thick cushioned, almost sofa-like saddles for example are actually way more uncomfortable after a few hours than a harder saddle, despite comfort being their main goal. I wonder how this one would compare.→ More replies (3)6
u/Noobtber 7h ago
I think the moving parts of this saddle are really going to fuck with your geometry. Inconsistent hip deflection angles and all that. Great way to get injured.
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u/AspectSpiritual9143 9h ago
i'm not a competitive cyclist. i have one with similar design because i'm tired of my penis being squeezed
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u/BSchafer 8h ago
Have you ever considered you’re NOT a competitive cyclist because your penis ISN’T being squeezed enough?
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u/Ecotech101 8h ago
Maybe an integrated nutcracker would help? Like a 20% speed boost.
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u/gatsome 8h ago
I’ve been with some serious women cyclists and they complain about sustained numbness to their bits from seats, even with padded shorts. I think everyone suffers.
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u/TwoLegitShiznit 7h ago
There's pretty well known studies on the negative impact of bike seats on the blood flow and nerves in that area. That's the whole reason why they started coming out with split saddles and seats with holes in the middle.
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u/PowerMid 8h ago
Standard seats can pinch the pudendal nerve. Split seats solve the issue, your lack of direct observation aside.
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u/Junius_Bobbledoonary 8h ago
thankfully people design bikes for purposes other than cycling competitions. the needs of a competitive cyclist are irrelevant to most riders, who don’t compete.
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u/supersahib 7h ago
most cycler response ever - ever consider people enjoy biking for non-competitive reasons? (hilarious considering competitive cycling represents a small fraction of ppl who actively bike)
you don't see any value on exploring better options for comfort?
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u/Omfgnta 9h ago
This is at least the third version of this idea I’ve seen since the ‘80s.
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u/JSTootell 9h ago
As a guy who does 100 mile bikes rides after work for fun...this is a no from me.
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u/Additional_Cap72 9h ago edited 3h ago
A fixed saddle acts as a fulcrum for the lower body to deliver power to the pedals.
This piece of crap gimmick effectively turns a bicycle into a clown car.
Get a Brooks!
*This split seat is kickstarting for $1000 Aussie bucks (about $700 US) —The high end Brooks saddles go for around $200 and will last several lifetimes ..
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u/captain_amazo 8h ago
A saddle isn’t a ‘fulcrum’ for power in the way you describe.
Riders generate force through their legs and core, which is why you can still put out watts while standing. A split saddle that moves slightly just follows natural pelvic rotation and reduces shear, not ‘turn the bike into a clown car’.
And ‘get a Brooks’ is a preference, not a biomechanical argument
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u/Sufficient-Farmer243 9h ago
notice all these people are using a durable material like jeans in the promo?
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